Tinder, like Starbucks, social media and Uber, is pretty much an ingrained part of life in the 21st century. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t downloaded the app and got their swipe on at some point and it probably takes up part of the limited iPhone memory space on at least half of my friends phones regular.
But, while the app is ubiquitous, not all tinderers* are created equal. Tinder is lots of things for lots of people, fulfilling a whole pile of needs (not like that, ew), and I figured I’d have a stab at listing some of the more common identities that you’ll see on Tinder (me and my friends have been most/all of these at various points, so I could be projecting a little), so without further ado, I bring you…
*this is definitely not an Oxford English Dictionary standard noun, but it is on Urban Dictionary, so I’m just rolling with it.
The post break-up reactionary tinderer
Everyone who’s ever had a break-up can relate to this. Once you’re done with the crying and listening to Adele/Hawthorne Heights depending on your level of emo, you convince yourself you never needed stupid ex-person and you can get back in the game ASAP to find a hot new person who is WORLDS better than the last one. But obv it’s a bit scary to go and talk to people in the real world when you’re not used to it, so Tinder saves the day. Also nothing says ‘I’m so over you’ quite like being on Tinder for your ex to find – JUST DON’T SWIPE RIGHT TO THEM.
The career tinderer
This is the kind of girl I aspire to be, but am too lazy and too involved with my box sets. She treats Tinder like a part time hussle, has a couple of convo’s on the go at any one time and dates boys from Tinder, a lot! Like we’re talking multiple free dinners per week, brave enough to meet boys she’s never met before, the whole hog.
The bored tinderer
This is definitely the one I identify with the most. You’re bored…it can be in a variety of locations, maybe at home on the couch on your 12th episode of Supernatural of the day, maybe on a hangover day or maybe in the bar with your gal pals, and you go to that little red and white app and start swiping away. You probably have no intention of actually speaking to any of the people you match with, you’ve just run out of content on every other social media app.
The ego boost tinderer
Like the bored tindered, the ego boost tinderer doesn’t actually have any interest in any of the people they match with – for them, it’s all about the amount of matches they get, and compliments they get from the matches. The ego boost tinderer is often also a phase that occurs shortly after, or during, the post break-up tinderer phase.
The naive, first time tinderer
This type of tinderer is precious and should be protected. It’s their first time on a dating app or website and they know not yet what they should expect. They think it’s going to be all attractive people, interested in great conversation, willing to talk for a while before suggesting a cute date, and after one or two of these they might meet their soul mate, on Tinder and won’t that be a funny story to tell the kids at our 30 year wedding anniversary party! The optimism and hopeful attitude will wane after three unsolicited dick pics, two requests of ‘Soooo, what’s your Snapchat ;)’ and three gross comments. There will then follow a long break period from online dating.
The drunk, isn’t it funny to say yes to everyone tinderer
“I’ve had eight vodkas and it is a GREAT idea to load up Tinder and swipe yes to absolutely EVERYONE I come across!’ says the drunk tinderer. This position quickly alters when you wake up and have double or triple figures worth of matches, most of whom you would never go near in a million years, and a shed load of messages. It’s basically time to delete Tinder in this case, rather than spend the life admin time un-matching them. There also exists The drunk isn’t it funny to say yes to everyone tinderer by proxy; this is when your drunk mate nicks your phone and has a right swipe fest on your behalf.
The out for satisfaction tinderer
Girl is getting herrrrs. While Tinder was obviously designed to create relationships, there isn’t any getting around the fact that a whole lot of people use it just to hook up and get some one night only lurvin’. Which is totally fine, and exactly what this gal does. She’s sassy, confident and knows exactly what she wants and Tinder is JUST the tool to get it. You go girl!
What do you guys think? Do you recognise yourself or some of your friends in any of these? Make sure and let me know! Pluss, if you liked reading about Tinder, you should definitely have a look see at Confessions of a Serial Tinderer, it’s so nice to see other people have similar Tinder experiences to me and I’m not just a magnet for loons :’)